There’s A Better Choice…

My posts are geared to divorced women but anyone who is having a hard time controlling their emotions in challenging situations can benefit from reading it. You have accepted the reality of a life-changing event and have finally let it grip your heart and soul because now your psyche can handle it. Although you let the intense feelings in, you experience fear of the unknown and what lays ahead for you. You may be newly divorced or divorced for many years. You could be faced with a situation where you are “stuck”. Being “stuck” has no time limit and is different for everyone. As you let the pain come in, it may manifest itself with emotions of anger and RESENTMENT.

The good news is that these tough emotions are a necessary rite of passage into the healing process for any challenging situation you are dealing with. The more you allow the emotions in, the less power it has over you. Examining these feelings from a different perspective may help decrease the intensity of the feelings. Ask these questions:

• Does the expression of anger or other unproductive emotions to or at others really do any good?

• Does it serve any constructive purpose aside from allowing emotional release which only lasts for the moment?

• Will the display of emotion negative emotion change the situation?

• Do you think about what the intense emotion may have on your physical and spiritual well-being?

Your responses and reactions can stop right here after reading this post. You can change your mindset right in the moment. You have a choice to stay where you are which no longer serves you and wastes your time or you can change your mindset and learn to control your emotions. The very first step is to learn to become aware of the “TRIGGERS”, what sets you off. You can either remove yourself from the situation at hand or you can effect a change on how you react to them.

Here is a way to do that. Write down the experiences that you have found yourself playing the “victim” that set you off. Also, write down words and tonal expression in other’s voices that set you off. Writing them down are thinking exercises and will help you to remember them when the scenarios arise. Next, write down how you will deal with those situations when they come up in a way that is constructive allowing you to rise above taking control of your emotions.

It will empower you to look through hopeful eyes knowing that you have the power and responsibility to make better choices for the future.