Welcome back to “Empower The Vision In You” coaching series of blogs. This is coaching tip #8 in a series over a 30-day period. Each blog builds upon the one before it. In coaching tip #8, I wrote about how you need to close off any discouraging words or actions as you are beginning to change your life.
The third common obstacle to success is the fear of failure. Do you think that successful people or people who live above the ordinary don’t feel fear? Of course they do but they face it when it rears its ugly head. It is natural to feel fear of the unknown because you don’t know what the future will bring. You can’t let that stop you. Fear can be paralyzing to some, and guess what they do? Of course, you know and I know because we have all been there. We talk ourselves into staying where we have always been. We can’t stand that uncomfortable feeling when on the verge of taking a risk.
Some of us will procrastinate. We will do the 80% of the 100% that is not getting the real job done. We go around the 20% that will get 80% of the goal accomplished because it is the most uncomfortable or challenging part. We go around it doing small tasks and busy work. Successful people tackle the 20% right away because that is where the productivity or major part of the achievement of the goal is.
Let’s say a real estate agent can’t understand why he is not as successful as he can and should be. He comes into the office in the morning and checks the new listings of the day, organizes his upcoming showings, and does some busy work at his desk until he has to go out on the road. Maybe if he came in and first thing in the morning, every morning, he did some COLD CALLING of potential clients, he might get more business. Three calls a day every day–guess what? It will get easier and eventually there will be a “Yes” on the other end of the line. It is the hard, uncomfortable stuff that gets the breakthrough. What could you do first thing in the morning, every morning that would really help your business grow?
Successful people and people who live above the ordinary know that failure only means that they have to take another road to their destination. They also know that obstacles and challenges are learning experiences not to be viewed negatively but as a way to learn more creative ways to get over, around, and through whatever stands in the way.
The positive side of an obstacle is that when you overcome it, it is an empowering feeling which in turn gives you feelings of greater self-esteem and the courage to continue on to the goal you have set for yourself.
Fear and self-doubt come from conditioning and life experiences. We are not born that way. For example, you may have a hard time hugging others when they show affection. It may come from not having much affection when growing up. You weren’t shown it so you are awkward in giving it because you didn’t receive it. Maybe a significant person in your life always put you down and called you “stupid” when you tried to accomplish something. Sadly, after hearing that repeatedly, you begin to say it to yourself. It eventually gets imprinted in your subconscious mind as a belief that you have about yourself. That is when limiting beliefs and self-doubts begin to be formed. What are some of your fears and self- doubts? Start to become aware of them when they come up. When the negative self-talk begins, immediately replace it with a positive thought or statement (affirmation). Eventually, the fear or self-doubt will begin to fall away as new neural pathways are being formed.
Check the coaching tip 9