After Divorce–What’s Next?

The numbers keep rising regarding women 50 years of age and over who were married for a long time and are now divorced. According to the Pew Research Center report, “Divorce rate for adults ages 50 and older has roughly doubled in the past 25 years.”

In earlier blogs, I addressed some of the significant reasons for this phenomenon. In many of those marriages, some grew apart over the years or found they were just extremely unhappy. Others realized once becoming empty nesters, life was centered on parenting and not on each other and now what? Some had a different vision of the lifestyle they would have in retirement —one wanting to lead an active life while the other just wants to hang around and is perfectly content with that. Lastly, there is infidelity in a marriage which needs no explanation.

In my last two blogs, I used the words Gray Divorce to describe that segment of the divorced population; but after some reflection, I realized that it is a totally unattractive description of the most vibrant, wise, and fearless segment of women we are or are about to become. So, I decided to call it 50+ instead.

The road to recovery after divorce is obviously a traumatic experience. It is hard work; but if one has the will and perseverance, the benefits are many. In a course that I am creating I designated five stages to divorce recovery which are not unlike  the Kubler Ross grief model but is more geared to phases of divorce recovery.

There are five stages I labeled as the following:  Rejection, Resentment, Renegotiation, Remorse, and Realty. Everyone has their own unique experience; and so, some may go in and out of stages slowly or rapidly, skip one, go backwards and revisit a stage instead of moving forward—so the stages are not gone through in a predictable, uniform pattern. It is a rollercoaster ride, for sure.

Awareness of the stages, what each one represents, and finding where one may be “stuck” in the process is empowering and the first step to recovery.

If you can’t seem to move beyond divorce and create the new life you envision for yourself, I can help you discover where you are “stuck”, guide you through the “pain points”, and get you on the road to creating that new life on your own terms. Contact me for a complimentary strategy session at donna@livingabovetheordinary.com or call 401-662-2707.