For those who didn’t read my first article on Gray Divorce here is what it means: That segment of couples who are generally over 50 and have been married for many years decide to end their marriage. Although the divorce rate is in decline, those of Gray Divorce have doubled since 1990. In the article, I also gave a few common reasons for it.
As a baby boomer and a woman of gray the gray divorce demographic, I wondered why it had become such a phenomenon. Why are older couples much more comfortable with ending their marriage than in the past? The biggest reason is because the stigma attached to it has dissipated greatly causing a shift in the way that overall society views divorce.
Here are a few more common reasons why couples over 50 get a divorce. Through most of the marriage, couples have dedicated their years to working, raising children, and maintaining a very busy life. When they retire, some find that they have too much time on their hands and this creates discord because the dynamic of the couple has changed whether it is one who is retired or both. Sometimes each spouse has a very different idea of what retirement means. Their lifestyle visions are not the same. One may be active and envision themselves playing tennis or golf, do more traveling, or cultivating more of a social life within the immediate community or in the hobbies and activities they participate. The other spouse may have a very different idea or vision for their retirement. That spouse may want to settle into a daily routine; and instead of rocking and rolling outside the house, he or she is content with rocking and rolling in a rocking chair.
Infidelity or cheating doesn’t have the same dishonor or humiliation mentality as it once did, making it easier for some to rationalize it as not being as terrible as it really is. Both men and women may find themselves attracted to younger, more attractive people. Aging is not kind to everyone in the same way; as a result, some may feel that trading in the old model for a new one may make them feel younger or imagine that it will put the brakes on the aging process.
If you are a baby boomer, you grew up during the sexual revolution. It might be safe to say that perhaps that generation may have had many more sexual partners than some of their younger generation counterparts. Many cheat because they don’t have their physical intimacy or sexual needs met and a casual or romantic affair can fill the void which is the catalyst for the breakdown of the marriage.
Whatever the reason, Dray Divorce continues to rise. The transition is not an easy one but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Working through emotional recovery and then redefining, rediscovering, and reconnecting with oneself will make it easier to embrace a new life with hope and joy for an empowered, transformational future.
If you can’t seem to move beyond divorce and create the new life you envision for yourself, I can help you discover where you are “stuck”, guide you through the “pain points”, and get you on the road to creating that new life on your own terms. Contact me for a complimentary strategy session at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 401-662-2707.
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