Don’t Let Outside Influences Stop YouJanuary 6, 2019
Tips For Transitioning Through The Grief ProcessJanuary 19, 2019
When going through a divorce, you want to be equipped to make the best possible decisions; so, as you move through the transition, you do so with confidence and clarity. Setting healthy boundaries, taking effective action, and cultivating healthy relationships during this time will help you to navigate the challenging circumstances with more dignity and control.
Learning to understand what goes on in the body and the mind during this most stressful of times will allow you to feel compassion for yourself when you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. When we feel extreme pressure or anxiety, the limbic system in the brain switches into action trying to protect us from harm. It activates the fight, flight, or freeze response which is why we feel uncomfortable physical emotions and reactions to a difficult, painful situation. Learning to create an awareness within ourselves when experiencing these feelings will allow us to have the ability to manage our emotions better, make better decisions, and design a goal plan to take the best course of action.
When the limbic system is in activated, it hampers the effectiveness of the pre-frontal cortex that needs to be in control when faced with life-changing decisions. The pre-frontal cortex needs to be in charge during this time so that we have greater impulse control when dealing with complex situations and planning.
When feeling hopeless, out of control, and overwhelmed with the divorce process here are a few simple things you can do:
- Make sure to take care of yourself so that your brain has sufficient energy to think clearly—get enough sleep, maintain a proper diet, and exercise.
- Engage in a meditation practice. When the uncomfortable feelings begin to manifest, take a time out. “Hit the pause button”. Taking a step back from a stressful situation, can give the time needed to slow down reactions and give the time needed to think more clearly. Practice the awareness of the breath and focus on that until you feel a semblance of control which allows you to act instead of reacting to a situation.
- Change your mindset. Your mindset has the greatest impact on how you will meet this challenge. You can choose to change your perspective and thoughts from negative ones to ones of strength and courage knowing you have the power inside to get through this difficult time.
- Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings. It provides an outlet for intense feelings and emotions. Writing is a thinking exercise and writing about one’s emotional challenges helps to gain a fresh perspective and provides a necessary outlet that is a great self-help strategy.
You are making a bold move as you go through divorce. You are changing a part of you that has been a certain way for a long time. It will create havoc inside of you simply because you are doing things differently that go against what has been for a very long time. You will be changing the paradigm and you will experience chaos and confusion for a time.
Be fearless. Have compassion for yourself. With guidance and support, you can go through this process with dignity and confidence moving forward to achieve the goals you set for your new, future.