Can’t Move Forward After Divorce? Here’s What Stops You.
July 26, 2021Leave Old Baggage Behind. Arrive With New Luggage.
February 24, 2022Have you ever wondered how many of those who live above the ordinary, those exceptional, auspicious individuals who have been fortunate enough to have developed their genius and creative ability seem to have created life on their terms?
These men and women have been able to navigate out of the past and rebuild a life they would love living, after divorce. Specifically, they have learned the power of writing out their goals very accurately. Then, they take continuous action under, over, around and through any obstacle that stands in the way.
Forty-two percent more goals are achieved by writing them down. It helps to get clear on what you want to accomplish and creates motivation for achievement.
Written Goals Are Road Maps and Key To Freedom.
With this in mind, written goals help you stay inspired and motivated, clear, focused, sharp, and always moving forward. You have the ability to live your best life and achieve it in a shorter period of time.
Here’s the key that will unlock the door to recover, heal, and rebuild your life after divorce.
It can only become reality if you put the key in the lock, turn it, and open the door. Along with a higher level of thinking, an open mind and perspective, you will come upon possibilities and opportunities that are yours if you choose to walk through that door.
After divorce, it is important to map out how you want to create your life going forward. At the same time, it’s essential to create a vision in your mind of the life you want to live. Additionally, you want to see yourself in that vision. The vision is something you come from. It doesn’t come to you.
A goal is like a road map. It is specific and concise so that you know how to get to where you want to be. It is your life map. It’s the first step.
Following directions sometimes means navigating in unfamiliar or uncomfortable territory; but eventually, you figure out how to get back on track and continue moving forward. It’s the same with a goal. There will be obstacles but you figure out how to move past them.
The action steps you take to achieve the goal are the same as written directions. All you have to do is follow one direction at a time. Take one small step at a time to get closer to your goal.
How do you write the goal?
Begin it with the word “To” as the flow of words after it makes it a little easier to form the statement. Next, it must be detailed, specific, and dated.
Writing it out specifically and in detail makes it easy to track and measure progress. If it isn’t dated, it isn’t a goal. Dating the goal adds a little psychological pressure or discomfort thereby increasing forward moving action. It’s like trying to reach a destination on time, and the slight anxiety produced when crossing over unfamiliar territory to get there.
Author Diana Hunt simply wrote, “Goals Are Dreams With Deadlines”.
Here’s an example of Marcie’s goal.
Marcie was “stuck” in the resentment phase of the divorce recovery cycle.
There are three parts to a well-written goal. It includes a goal statement, obstacle(s), and action steps.
Goal Statement:
To move out of playing the victim by discovering ways to change my behavior and attitude so that I can begin to work on creating my new life by (date).
Obstacle(s):
Understanding my choice, role, and responsibility for choosing to stay in victim mode, and learn necessary skills and tools to release myself from it.
Action Steps:
- Do research and list reasons as to why one chooses to remain a victim after divorce by (date).
- Identify the ones I use and why by (date).
- Develop a list of strategies to help me overcome playing the victim and implement them into my life so that I take back my control and power (date).
- Learn to identify negative, self destructive thoughts, and replace thoughts (repattern) with positive mindset by (date).
It is specific in that Marcie knows exactly what course of action to take step-by-step. Putting in exact dates for completion of each step is important . There is no question-either you do or you don’t complete the action step.
. Of course, it isn’t set in stone and can be tweaked a little because sometimes life gets in the way.
In closing, writing the goal is the first step. Taking action is the critical step.
You are above the ordinary.
You can be the author of your life.
Grab a pen and begin creating.