I see many divorced women like you who are finally on the other side of divorce, and they are exhausted and worn out from the transition through it. No one told you that you needed to have a plan in place; so now that you have arrived, you don’t have a road map to travel down this new road.
It is hard to think about a plan after divorce and all that you have been through. Of course, you have to take the time to go through the recovery process. The sooner you start working on the Road Through Recovery, the sooner you will make enough room inside to look to the future with hopeful eyes.
You might stay “stuck” or “in pain” because you don’t have the right tools or a results-driven plan to show you how to recover and heal feelings and emotions so can begin to move forward. Having a results-driven plan focuses on exactly what you need to do to get you from the transition through divorce to your personal transformation that empowers you to rebuild a new life on your own terms.
I know this because I was stuck and in pain and played the victim for many years after my divorce. I tried counseling. (I have an advanced degree in Human Development Counseling and Family studies and was a counselor before becoming a coach.) I found it to be too much digging up the past and not enough focus on the results that I wanted now in the present.
I tried support groups, programs, read self-help books along with support from family and friends. (The ones I had left after my divorce.) None of it worked for me. After all that, I decided with my experience, background, and expertise, I would develop a five-step plan to move myself forward so that I could begin my new path down the road of life. It worked for me and here it is in a nutshell.
The “Key” to moving forward is to be able to pinpoint where you struggling with the past. Once you know where you are “stuck”, you can begin to make a plan to overcome the challenges, fear, or limiting beliefs that are holding you back.
Next, you can go on to reconnect with self. You are different now that you are on the other side. It’s important to get reacquainted with who you are now. You can do that by working through the four pillars of well-being so that you are mentally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually ready to make new and better decisions for your future–coming from your higher self.
Making a personal life timeline will allow you to look over the past but not dwell in it. You will be able to see patterns, themes, and opportunities for making better choices for the future.
Then, you can take your strengths and weaknesses, core values, and passions and reframe who you want to become for the future. After reconnecting with self, you will have developed a strong sense of who you are. You can dare to dream of who you envision yourself to be for your future.
Finally, you will examine which part of your life will benefit the most by making positive change to that area which in turn will affect other parts. For example, Mary sold her house because downsizing was her best choice. As a result, she could buy a small condo and manage without living paycheck to paycheck. Her finances improve because her expenses are cut in half and she can work on saving for retirement,taking trips, and engaging in hobbies that she couldn’t afford before.
It is hard work but pushing forward is spite of the past is empowering. Making a plan and achieving a goal is life-changing. Reconnecting to self connects you to your core. Reinventing self gives you control over who you want to be for the future. Relaunching self means you will follow your vision. You will live above the ordinary.
If My Five Step Plan To Creating A New Life After Divorce resonates with you, please take advantage of my complimentary strategy session.