Divorce and Social Distancing Has Its Commonalities

As a divorced woman and making it my life’s purpose to help others like me find their way through divorce recovery, I find the process not unlike social distancing that is now our way of life.

A Clear Relationship and Connection Between The Two

After divorce, I felt socially isolated in that some of my couple friends took sides or simply dropped off the radar.

The experience presents intuitive insight if we are smart enough to see it. It’s not unlike how quarantine and social distancing has changed our lives forever.

Here Are Some Commonalities

• The grief process takes some time to run its course which is not unlike waiting for this virus to run its course.

• Learning to develop a productive, forward-moving way of thinking, a positive mindset, allows us to look to the future with hopeful eyes which is not unlike coming to terms with and gaining a mindful, conscious perspective on this disease.

• Making a plan for rebuilding our lives on our own terms is not unlike making a plan of how we will step back out into the world once the curve has flattened.

• Even though we have our circle of family and friends, we are now alone and it is different. Our roles are different. We learn to develop new relationships which is not unlike learning how to socially connect with others in a new and different way once we have the license to do so.

• Just like moving out of recovery and then beginning to reconnect with self after divorce, this virus has created more self-awareness, empathy, compassion, and humility for the human condition.

Brene Brown says, “In order for connection to happen, we allow ourselves to be seen”.

The third phase on the Road Through Recovery, I call Renegotiation. It is where one can get “stuck” because in her mind she is trying to make a bargain or a deal to try to get her life back to the way it was before. “Please, God, I promise to do things differently, if only I have another chance.”

It is not dealing with reality—the way things are. Just like I hate to admit that this virus has in some ways changed my future life. I know it is wishful thinking that my life will go back to exactly the way it was before. I hope I am wrong.

Deep down it does cause anxiety and stress because the unknown is hard to plan for.

We Are Vulnerable

We are vulnerable now that on the other side of divorce. It is not unlike the deeply shared vulnerability this virus has created in us. As we begin to reconnect in a new and different way, perhaps our physical distance and starting from afar may not be so bad after all.

I know time and space are good teachers, we will gradually move closer and gain back that closeness and trust we had before.

Check out more of my blogs here:  https://www.livingabovetheordinary.com/blog/

Please share other commonalities below.