I’m was on the plane flying back from D.C. after spending time with my daughter and her family during baseball’s World Series. My son-in-law works for the Washington Nationals, and it was an exciting time to be part of history being made. Here is a team that came from being an underdog to winning the most prestigious award in baseball history.
There is an analogy here. The Nats came from behind and came out on top. Not unlike after divorce and directing your life so that you can come out on top as well. It doesn’t mean you forget or the ravages it has caused aren’t real to deal with. By changing your mindset and believing you will come out on top, it will become so. You can knock the ball out of the park. Why? Because what you believe about yourself and your situation, you can make it so. You write the script. Your destiny and path are in your hands–just like the batter who’s up.
As I am working through creating an online course for divorced women in helping them become “unstuck” or through the “pain”, it struck me just how important changing our thoughts can make all the difference during this life-changing time. The way we THINK is everything. It is the driver of all actions and behaviors.
If you refuse to THINK about the reality of the situation as it is in the present moment, then your REJECTION of what is will be your reality. You will be “stuck” or in “pain” for as long as you believe it to be so.
If you continue to THINK of yourself as a victim and hold on to RESENTMENT in the present moment, then you are choosing to make that your reality. You are a victim. You will continue to be a victim until you decide to change your thoughts and actions. You can steer out of that label and choose a new one for your future. What is your new label of yourself going to be?
If you continue to THINK about trying to RENEGOTIATE the reality of the situation, you are choosing to waste time trying to replay scenarios that begin with the words, “What if… and “If only… The self talk will drive you crazy and you will go around in circles trying to work it out to a different reality by thinking you can now change what is. It is counterproductive to the healing process.
If you continue to THINK that you can’t let REMORSE—the emotions of sadness and regret come up and feel them, you are allowing them to be an albatross around your neck weighing you down. The good news is that going through this phase is the precursor to accepting reality.
If you continue to think about resisting the REALITY of the situation, you haven’t released enough of the past to be able to move on from those confusing, negative feelings. In other words, they were part of the healing process at the time; but now, they no longer serve you.
The Time Is Now. Begin the process. Embrace a new beginning that will empower you to create a new life on your own terms.